This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “vanishing” entered the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the peak of disrespect. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.
Generation Z, a generation who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their Gen Y forerunners could ever fathom. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.
The following list is a comprehensive guide to the phrases gen Z is using to discuss love, sex and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most popular memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.
Genuineness – According to gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!
Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is engaged or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.
Independent partner – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)
Seat theory – This signifies choosing someone who helps you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.
Choremance – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do affordable romance in a post-cheap-date world.
Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, spilling all of your (unrequited) feelings.
DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.
Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing dialogue, honesty and openness.
Signals
Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).
Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy listens to.
Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.
Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.
Gooners – A mostly online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.
Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.
High-value woman – An ideal championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?
Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any sense of attraction.
“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet gesture.
Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.
Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.
Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {
Elara is a seasoned writer and digital storyteller with a passion for exploring diverse literary genres and empowering others through words.
